the whole 9 years

Well what a few weeks has been and it seems to be getting worse and more confusing ,
For anyone out there that reads this ( besides my cute lil slave) ive been on workers comp for about 6 months now.The pain in my knees is huge my back is sore and ive been on a doctors circut with them all saying the same thing, the guy is in pain he needs surgery, now if thats not enough ive had my pay drop be 350 a pay ,and i seem to have post tramatic stress and depression,the depression i guess has really hit home for me last night.Slave went of to her larp ,i didnt want to go or join in or really do anything, we where invited to a party but i know slave gets execited about larp so i made sure she went.
I came home feeling a great saddness like someone had told me family had died, its not gone away ,i seem to be on the edge of crying without crying, as for post tramatic stress , yes i feel that too , im getting annoyed with simple things. like my mother-in-law wanting smokes all the time ,or a hairbrush on theground or little things that really shouldnt annoy me , its like everything is a epic tragdy and im the one that has found it ,
So what do i do ??? body screwed brain not working, lack of pay, simple
I FIX IT ! im not going to stay depressed im going to fight it bye all means ,with my hot lil slave bye myside and the boy ,i can do most things( execpt clean and fold washing it seems)
the body i can lose weight i can go to the gym and lose the weight to help out my knees , and back,the mental stuff......................................i dont want to start taking tablets but if there is no other way then so be it ,
so in closing on this rather odd blog , im scared work seems to be leading me around blind not telling me a thing , im worried about money im worried about my slave and boy , i just want some answers

Master

guess whos comming to dinner?

yes slaves mum arrives about a week or so ealyer than had planned , im in too minds about it, i know her and her mother have been very strained for a while then happy , however i rember the last time she was here , just as slave and i was getting together, i rember the more icky more than the good , not that i think there was much good , i have to show the olive branch , and i will give the whole dam tree if i have to ,i can only hope she shwos resepct while being a guest,this is where i get undone ,to me honor is very important, If im in anothers  home i know im a guest but i also know i dont have the right to be mean or nasty , now i know slaves mum has mental problems and back pain but she has meds for them , her refusal to take them or let them run out its our fault and why do we need to suffer her wraith,
anyways long story short ,im here to start a fresh page with her to start anew , i can only hope this time we can all be on that same page ,,,,,,and slave has just turned the light off without asking me did i want it on ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,grrrrrrr lol

Not lots

The last 5 days has been pretty dead and it's understand able . I wanted to
He more strict but slave has been sick . I have been sick and the hottest week in 37 years ment we both got grouchy :( . Slave is the live of my lifetime for allmy flaws and hers we are so well matched . It's so good in some ways that even though link isn't as open in our lives as we would love . That were still together tight as ever. I just hope soon we can get back into the swing and stay there . I know what most will say , just do little things , but until u have lived in this heat u really cannot talk , plus add my hurts slaved hurts and u can understand , the best thing I can say its given slaves bum time to heal . Spa will be fixed soon I hope so some more interesting water play. With slaves mum coming in 10 ish days I've got some nice outside play ideas ( also anew car means I can take her fun places too ) I have a list it's not a huge list of kink places to play but it's a start :) will be posting
More soon I hope ( slave reads a this don't want to ruin surprise ) but let's say the places sound nice and hopefully be lots of fun
So for now master has a list of things kink and non kink for slave to enjoy :)
Summer sounds so
Much more fun in a better car

Master xxxxx

the week in review

well hasnt been the pinicle of kink this week so far we have done little play i fucked poor salve around and made her cry .See alot of ppl assume a Dom or Master knows everything and im sure some claim they do but the truth is we dont , its hard sometimes to guage when a slave is being bratty and when there is something else , Ive been cranky the last 5 days , the reasons are mostly heat stress at work and my parents dreging up 43 years of unhappyness within me and sadly its been comming out with me on slave.
I am really upset and to be honest scared of my job , all my life the last 22 years of working all ive done is security i dont know anyting else and now i have to face the facts i may never go back to that job , and it dose scare the crap outer me,
However the good things are there too , a great day with my daughter , slave and my tween bonded very well and quicker than i first thought , i think the awesome cake and gift ( that you lady fate ) helped out
Sadly this weekend is going to not be as hight bdsm as i would like but i will make due , i have some ideas and some plans ( well lets hope they work) and go from there ,
i just hope my grumpy can calm down a tad , also my body hurts in ways its never hurt before , some pains you know and feel for the first time some you know ahve been there for some time , sadly im getting ones ive known for some time on a much much MUCH harder level than ever before :(
and then there is valentines day i want to do something for slave but sadly with bills and my daughters birthday tomorrow i dont think i will be able to afford much ,
maybe a bear :)

Master
xxx

hot hot hot

its 1 am im sweating in a room lol , we have had a great days play , apart from slave biting me so hard i think she broke my finger lol
so word of warning dont put fingers in slaves mouth while biting her neck lol , so bad is the bite i have a clicking sound when ever i move it
But as days go it was grand really had fun enjoy our selves and want more of it and hey theres still sunday

Master

heat and conflict

Im not sure why my body works the way it dose but i know what id dose and when .Heat for example hot hot hot makes me horny why i really dont know but wen its super hot i need to fuck hard and i mean hard , take the other night i fucked lil miss slave like a hammer poor girl took her 4 hours to stop purring lol , the next night it was alot cooler and i wasnt able to last as long nor have that rawr sexaul drive ,

oddly enough in winter when its wet and stormy im the same but only if im slimmer , if im a bit chuncky it dont happen , why? fuck knows but i know when is the best time to play , also mental stuff gets me going paining dose for some freaking reason , computer games do not ,
Im one odd odd man lol
so what im saying is in summer in the hot hto days slave your going to get pounded like a jack hammer , cooler days not so much , winder you want me slim too so i can keep you very hot and steamy all night long lol

Master

cock mad

last night i had an orgsam id not had in over a year , ive had pleanty but this was like dark primal i mean i was very loud( sorry to those in china i woke up ) i kept cumming for about 5 mins i think just having trouble breathing sweat dripping off me cumming over and over , i normally get like this in the heat but nromally im a tad thinner and been painting all day ( long story) i get int a more primal state i see slave as a toy to fuck hard and deep and harder , when i cummed it was like my back was about to rip open with huge wings and fly , it was that intense , i know these type of orgsams are rare for me but my god , i had trouble walking for a while lol
My slave has such a pull over me to make me cumm like this , im not sure if others have such orgsams but if so spread that love , more need to cum like that lol

Master

time slips too quickly

time got the better hand of me or did i plan too much and not enought
We had limmited play it was nice but we had 2 days without the boy so sleep in's tiil middday sucked time away plus sat night we went to larp ( that took from 5 till about 2 am ) i do find it a little annoying that just as we winde down get into our groove its pretty much time to pack up and get ready for the boy again . id like a bit of role reversal to be honest let the boys farther have him for 5 days and we can have him for a week end see how he likes it ,Not that it matters he will go home to his mummy and get her help as per normal.I just want a week a solid week so we can sleep in have a few late nights and still have ample time to play .
He is into kink he has a play partner and im sure they play most days and are happy , lol were happy and play when we can but with a 2 year  old its never easy ,
I also wonder are we getting too zealous with what we want to do ? i had planned to do some painint didnt even get time to pick and dust off a brush lol , 2 days isnt  enought time to really get the things i want done , so time managemt here i come , re think it all

Master

oh i will be screwing about with fonts pics and the like just to change it a bit , not that anyone else reads my posts execpt slave lol

hot and sticky

Well summer has arrived and its hot fucking hot and i means like its hard to sleep with sweat dripping off you , But there is a sliver lining to this , slave gets to wear as litte as possible and keep cool :D
today will be the mixed bag of kink , its 12.41 slaves had a huge sleep in and has the anal toy inserted , we will give it a few hours see how she dose with it in and go from there , the point of toda is to get her more into the use of having it in , my cock sweels with excitemnt of it in there , just thinking of it that heavy metal yum , i hav e some rope plans for later maybe before we go out and defenlty after we come home to cool off, IF it rains ( snamm chance it seems ) then i will tie her up and use her hot lil body in the rain , or if passion takes too much i must pull her hair bend her over the bonnet of the car and fuck that hot bit of ass and feel her deep , either way toda will be a fun day , my only problems is the heat gets me ultra horny , how long can i keep myself in check ,,,,see how we do :)

Master of the hottest lil slave

anal ahoy

well slave got spoilt oh boy did she get spoilt a mini flogger for places a normal flogger wont go , a new anal training toy and lube and a nice bright pink collar , so this weekend the game has changed there will be anal traning with some nice rope bondage as well as the pool ( spa still not working sadly ) i hope bye the end slaves bubble will be full and she can sleep happly in it for some time
For now she sleeps knowing she is loved and spoilt with sexy new clothes , and she is loosing weight which bye now she now understands happyness sheds the kilos , well to a point then deit and execrsie do the rest lol

Master

guilt and shame

No that any of you know i was once married ( still married per say now ) but were not toghter , her name was lori , she was a good girl had some , ok tons of medcial probelms but still a really good person , my dad disliked her mum hand her bonded so well , why am i saying all this? i came across pics from our wedding and love notes , she saying she will never leave me and she will allways be there no matter what , and its made me very upset to the point im crying as i type , its not that i want her back ,im sure she is much happer now than ever with me.Its more the life i use to have the way i use to be , im better now slave gives me things lori never could but i look at the photos with words on the back that say forever yours and i will love you till the dawn or the next mankind (personal joke) the love she had for me we had ,
now with slave we talk about that love , is there ever a forever love ? can ihope that me and slave will make it or will she say forever and leave as well?
honestly there isnt a set in stone book and nor should there be , means i must fight for my love to be strong , let it flow like water and when its low refresh the streams .
I guess all this is made me up set the pics the thoughts of my past , i wonder where she is is she truly happy ,
I have a place in my heart for her , she once called her self mumma wolf , i rember when and where that day was and i remember the pain of the days that followed , i hope slave and i never do that dance it would destroy us all

Master

The game has changed

Last night was fun I played with slave in the small pool with rope . Spend time talking was nice . Spent a wild night in bed made slave squirt so much there was a huge wet patch in the bed lol . This morning while drinking coffee and seeing the boy dance to yo GABba GABba . I thought about a few things . Mostly what I'm going to do with slave on the weekend the njoy anal toy we can buy online get it at a huge discount . And just buy a nifty anal toy for now . Plus look at what else is out there . As for a female slave Im not really fussed at the moment . I want slave to have he bi buddy to chat with but it seems to be causing too many problems . I think if it happens it will just happen . Lady fate bound us tightly and bye her had she will move us if she feels that need .
There was a girl I that is interested but the more I think about it the less I think she is for real . But like I said for now it's just up to miss fate

I will hopefully shine into slaves inner self thus weekend and bring even more joy to her heart

Master

the weekend

next weekend sees the birth of something specail for me and slave,I was going to be a supirse but slaveseems to think i have lost that passion,
So here it is on desplay for all to see.
Friday sadly im working for 2 hours ,when i arrive home im going to tie slave up in our new fancy rope, breast bondage that we have been trying out,plus some thumb bondage too.
Im guessing alot of fucking will be going on also .
Sat is the mix bag of kink .we will go shopping for a new anal toy for slave , i want something she can wear during the day something i will know will not fall out so we can really get into anal training.
Also i wish to buy some other non kink items .Sat afternoon will be waterplayy and anal play and in the evening will will try some new ideas that i have, Sunday is the wild card day , i have 3 diffrent ideas of things to do like chain her up and make her make muffins,or put a apron on her make her do gardening with nothing else on , or i might find some nice ripe bits of fruit and insert them and eat them out,
I might have lost my mojo but im still a Dom i still have lusty desires wants needs and crave my slaves body ,
Do i want another girl as others have posted ? yes id love my slave to have a bi playmate someone for her to play with and talk girl stuff and do coffee and cake and enjoy life , will i join in? maybe but my main though on the whole thing is for slave to have someone , i REALLY get ticked off ppl giving my girl negtive comment about shes not a real salve cos of this or that!!!!!!I get annoyed with it , please be psotive in your views if you can ,
I love my slave and want to marry her and live in our kink bubble forver and those who seem to act in a negtive way? fuck you , fuck you in the ass with a big black dildo and then snap it off and beat you over the head with it!
So when ppl commnet im not a Dom i am i just have deflated my sense of sef a bit ,its ok writing this blog and getting ticked off at others hurting my slave made me feel alot better

Master

lost my mojo

slave scratched me the other day and the flesh was cut the personal scars are far deeper , ive lost my mojo my zen in the art of being a Dom , im not sure why but i cannot be what i am , i feel very very lost , i need to empower myself again , this did happen once many many years ago , how i got it back as a tale of debacuchery and sin which to most is normal , but im alot older now than then and i dont think those rules would apply to me now , ive changed my a family man now things are very diffrent ,
So how do i get it all back? i feel like a ship with no power ,,,,im not sure how to kick start it all , i know im Dom i know what i can and cannot do and yet that drive that ego that force is , well gone ,
So if anyone was ever going to reply to one of my posts NOW would be the time , i could do with good advice
Master without his mojo

How about some hello's?

Seems some sub/ slaves are reading my post but sending private messages to my
Slave ? Could I at least get a hello ?? Lol so far I'm
Not aware of anyone even reading my posts lol let alone saying hello .
For now me slave are doing it a bit rough but we will be ok . U told slave if she wants she can make it up to me ...... How I have no idea
But I'm sure she has ideas lol

Thanks all for sending her messages

Master

Am I a Master ?

Today is a dark dark day . Slave scratched my tummy and rather well I might add too .
But it has now troubled me why she did it . She says fear took over ... Where is the trust ? That total knowledge that I will do right bye her and all would be ok ? Where is that safe word ??? The word she uses when things are bad??
But I don't blame her . It's my fault it's my teachings that have made her what she is . I haven't given her enought trust to grow into her she didn't feel right with using her safe words. The blame falls at my feet . So what do I do ? Go vanilla and be the happy non kink couple? Do we pull back the reigns and go a little lighter ? Do I need to hop in a taxi go off for a while train and train and more training to be better ?
At the moment it's on hold . Until I can figure all of this out . To say I'm upset is a understatement to say I'm hurt is there too . So for now I will not be writing in this blog until I know who I am . Master I will return but if u see no more text then I guess I'm
Not a Master just a sham knock up of one

Me

girl in a bubbleand a slave to help

been a odd week ive seen my slave get ore contact from other slaves most of it positive , im a bit jealous really why dont i get the replys lol.Slave came out of her bubble and ive been trying to get her back in  , but as she has the ladys time she is sore and sick so i need to try diffrent ways to get her back in ,

Some ways this is good for me i have to rethink everything ive learnt in kink to get her back into that zone , however i though i had pushed her back in but sadly not yet,
the other problems is another girl into the mix, it was ment to be a good thing a bi girl for slave to enjoy and maybe me as well but mostly for slave , we had a girl in mind but she seems only to contact me , i did tell her to contact my slave to talk to her to get in that bi groove but she just talks to me , .... ive decided to leave it for now , just let it flow were it dose , im not going to talk to this girl to push her to contact slave or me , if she is truly intersted she will contact slave .

The whole bi girl thing was ment to be a positive thing for slave , someone to teach and learn from to get them bi urgers out and enjoy a freind that she could go to the films with or chat about music or art or even just get on the lounge and snuggle with a chick flick ,
i still think its an awesome idea , i dont want live in bi girl just someone she can hang with or we all could go to the film or something ,
but im new to freinds its all so diffrent for me im trying to make them , i have a female freind of slave , ive try to become more freinds with but it seems to have died off , its ok best try again i guess

Master

lessons learnt

Well what a few days can do let alone 10 mins , slave was in hr bubble happy so cute to see her in it so proud of my slave to see her in there so happy so real , and then her mum and i started to fight via facebook , nothing too nasty just tit of tat stuff and it all was just big mis understandings , BUT slave was loud rude and came out of her slave bubble plucked from it quickly it must have hurt and nipped the problem in the bud . which is good in some ways its good that her mum and me arent fighting but let her out of her confort zone , afterwards it got worse slave and i argued and she locked the door on me ( this made me very fucken agry ) once we talked i understood i had been wrong and her mother who is on meds for depression among other things was not 100% feeling good . i should have seen that understood i was in a better frame of mind and delt with it .
Also we had another girl that might be joining our family , im mixed over it , i think on 1 hand a bi slave for my slave will be great , the ulitmate gal pal, 2 slaves that can watch flicks be mummy and have hot bi sex too , for me its nice to see her happy and yes play with the new girl often too , but i will try not to favor anyone new , the down side is finding miss right , the girl in question is not totally new to kink but hasnt had much hard core play , its hard spankings cuffs and blindfolds and i think some canings too , i do hope she dose work out , for her me and for slave ,

im unsure if she could do 24/7 the idea has ben with me before not with slave but with others , ive had part time slaves come vist me and a past slave spend 3 days in 24/7 with both of them and it worked very well , the  trick is to find someone diffrent and yet the same , ou want some one that brings diffrent aspects to the mix but has the same ideals as your self and slave ,
for now its going slow wich is fine , i rather it pic up place once we start plaing and go from there ,
so for now , slave isnt in her slave bubble , i have a weekend without the boy to put her back in
lets hope without hard face slapping i can slide her back in there

Master

so it begins

as of tonight the rules will be in play and all will NOT be forgive today slave has been a little mouthy , from now on after these rules are written up there will not be any of this , i will exepct my cock sucked alot more than it is now , i hope i will see more of that inner slut and slave in her also , any nasty back lash of words will be delt with a very hard spank and the words shut the fuck up slave or something like that , she MUST understand she  is a slave, she has but 1 choices who she is in service to , i will want her to be alot more slave like in all forms , that will come with the harder traning , for example i say clean the kitchen now , it will mean clean the kitchen now , NOT say im doing that on tomorrow it means NOW , if there is a major problem with not doing what i say i exept her to undo my pants suck on my cock and then look at me as she wants to speak and say the reason why she dosnt want it done ,
Master will be unfair at times or cruel but slave is that a slave
i love her greatly but she will be fucked into her bubble spanked to stay there and heavly punished if she comes out of that bubble ,
so i hope from now on i will see a much better slave
Master


time will tell