the whole 9 years

Well what a few weeks has been and it seems to be getting worse and more confusing ,
For anyone out there that reads this ( besides my cute lil slave) ive been on workers comp for about 6 months now.The pain in my knees is huge my back is sore and ive been on a doctors circut with them all saying the same thing, the guy is in pain he needs surgery, now if thats not enough ive had my pay drop be 350 a pay ,and i seem to have post tramatic stress and depression,the depression i guess has really hit home for me last night.Slave went of to her larp ,i didnt want to go or join in or really do anything, we where invited to a party but i know slave gets execited about larp so i made sure she went.
I came home feeling a great saddness like someone had told me family had died, its not gone away ,i seem to be on the edge of crying without crying, as for post tramatic stress , yes i feel that too , im getting annoyed with simple things. like my mother-in-law wanting smokes all the time ,or a hairbrush on theground or little things that really shouldnt annoy me , its like everything is a epic tragdy and im the one that has found it ,
So what do i do ??? body screwed brain not working, lack of pay, simple
I FIX IT ! im not going to stay depressed im going to fight it bye all means ,with my hot lil slave bye myside and the boy ,i can do most things( execpt clean and fold washing it seems)
the body i can lose weight i can go to the gym and lose the weight to help out my knees , and back,the mental stuff......................................i dont want to start taking tablets but if there is no other way then so be it ,
so in closing on this rather odd blog , im scared work seems to be leading me around blind not telling me a thing , im worried about money im worried about my slave and boy , i just want some answers

Master

guess whos comming to dinner?

yes slaves mum arrives about a week or so ealyer than had planned , im in too minds about it, i know her and her mother have been very strained for a while then happy , however i rember the last time she was here , just as slave and i was getting together, i rember the more icky more than the good , not that i think there was much good , i have to show the olive branch , and i will give the whole dam tree if i have to ,i can only hope she shwos resepct while being a guest,this is where i get undone ,to me honor is very important, If im in anothers  home i know im a guest but i also know i dont have the right to be mean or nasty , now i know slaves mum has mental problems and back pain but she has meds for them , her refusal to take them or let them run out its our fault and why do we need to suffer her wraith,
anyways long story short ,im here to start a fresh page with her to start anew , i can only hope this time we can all be on that same page ,,,,,,and slave has just turned the light off without asking me did i want it on ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,grrrrrrr lol

Not lots

The last 5 days has been pretty dead and it's understand able . I wanted to
He more strict but slave has been sick . I have been sick and the hottest week in 37 years ment we both got grouchy :( . Slave is the live of my lifetime for allmy flaws and hers we are so well matched . It's so good in some ways that even though link isn't as open in our lives as we would love . That were still together tight as ever. I just hope soon we can get back into the swing and stay there . I know what most will say , just do little things , but until u have lived in this heat u really cannot talk , plus add my hurts slaved hurts and u can understand , the best thing I can say its given slaves bum time to heal . Spa will be fixed soon I hope so some more interesting water play. With slaves mum coming in 10 ish days I've got some nice outside play ideas ( also anew car means I can take her fun places too ) I have a list it's not a huge list of kink places to play but it's a start :) will be posting
More soon I hope ( slave reads a this don't want to ruin surprise ) but let's say the places sound nice and hopefully be lots of fun
So for now master has a list of things kink and non kink for slave to enjoy :)
Summer sounds so
Much more fun in a better car

Master xxxxx

the week in review

well hasnt been the pinicle of kink this week so far we have done little play i fucked poor salve around and made her cry .See alot of ppl assume a Dom or Master knows everything and im sure some claim they do but the truth is we dont , its hard sometimes to guage when a slave is being bratty and when there is something else , Ive been cranky the last 5 days , the reasons are mostly heat stress at work and my parents dreging up 43 years of unhappyness within me and sadly its been comming out with me on slave.
I am really upset and to be honest scared of my job , all my life the last 22 years of working all ive done is security i dont know anyting else and now i have to face the facts i may never go back to that job , and it dose scare the crap outer me,
However the good things are there too , a great day with my daughter , slave and my tween bonded very well and quicker than i first thought , i think the awesome cake and gift ( that you lady fate ) helped out
Sadly this weekend is going to not be as hight bdsm as i would like but i will make due , i have some ideas and some plans ( well lets hope they work) and go from there ,
i just hope my grumpy can calm down a tad , also my body hurts in ways its never hurt before , some pains you know and feel for the first time some you know ahve been there for some time , sadly im getting ones ive known for some time on a much much MUCH harder level than ever before :(
and then there is valentines day i want to do something for slave but sadly with bills and my daughters birthday tomorrow i dont think i will be able to afford much ,
maybe a bear :)

Master
xxx

hot hot hot

its 1 am im sweating in a room lol , we have had a great days play , apart from slave biting me so hard i think she broke my finger lol
so word of warning dont put fingers in slaves mouth while biting her neck lol , so bad is the bite i have a clicking sound when ever i move it
But as days go it was grand really had fun enjoy our selves and want more of it and hey theres still sunday

Master

heat and conflict

Im not sure why my body works the way it dose but i know what id dose and when .Heat for example hot hot hot makes me horny why i really dont know but wen its super hot i need to fuck hard and i mean hard , take the other night i fucked lil miss slave like a hammer poor girl took her 4 hours to stop purring lol , the next night it was alot cooler and i wasnt able to last as long nor have that rawr sexaul drive ,

oddly enough in winter when its wet and stormy im the same but only if im slimmer , if im a bit chuncky it dont happen , why? fuck knows but i know when is the best time to play , also mental stuff gets me going paining dose for some freaking reason , computer games do not ,
Im one odd odd man lol
so what im saying is in summer in the hot hto days slave your going to get pounded like a jack hammer , cooler days not so much , winder you want me slim too so i can keep you very hot and steamy all night long lol

Master

cock mad

last night i had an orgsam id not had in over a year , ive had pleanty but this was like dark primal i mean i was very loud( sorry to those in china i woke up ) i kept cumming for about 5 mins i think just having trouble breathing sweat dripping off me cumming over and over , i normally get like this in the heat but nromally im a tad thinner and been painting all day ( long story) i get int a more primal state i see slave as a toy to fuck hard and deep and harder , when i cummed it was like my back was about to rip open with huge wings and fly , it was that intense , i know these type of orgsams are rare for me but my god , i had trouble walking for a while lol
My slave has such a pull over me to make me cumm like this , im not sure if others have such orgsams but if so spread that love , more need to cum like that lol

Master